As the new year broke in like a thief in the night. It hit me. HOLY GUACAMOLE! I have to restart my business All. Over. Again. This quote (below) is now my mantra, I couldn’t sleep one night because it was replaying over and over in my head. I contacted my beautiful friend Liz to jazz it up for me and a few hours later she came up with this. I needed this reminder so bad. Be sure to read on and hear why.
Clearly this message has been sitting with me for quite a few months now, but in the midst of moving, getting settled and trying to find my way around my mind has been occupied with other things. Couple that with being in the process of building a new home just 4 months shy of landing in this grand state of Texas, thinking about business ventures hasn’t been high on my to-do list… until now that is. You know, this year has brought us some pretty life changing things, although it has been a year with tears of joy and sadness, life just knows how to balance itself just right. Things have been calm and peaceful with me not running out for shoots or spending hours retouching, delivering goods, planning sessions, marketing, designing things… why would I want to break something that doesn’t need to be fixed? And so, with these changes I had to ask myself. Do I really want to do this again? Do I really want to up the ante on what I thought were pretty realistic goals for the future of my business that now have already been washed away with new ideas? How will I find anyone to trust me to be the one to document their family history? ‘ll surely have to take yet another bumpy road if I want establish myself again in this new place, where I don’t really know many people. And how long will this take? Do I even have the time to dedicate myself to marketing and finding any kind of business in an already saturated market?
As I struggled to find the answers to these questions, I came very close to putting my hands in the air, waving the white flag and surrendering all of my hard work, years of training and money invested in an industry I chose for myself that just isn’t the same one anymore that I started in.
I am now living in a state with the most concentration of photographers. Photographers from all walks of life. How am I to rebuild my business in this state?- In the state that it’s in to boot?
And then I realized…. FEAR has a voice. 2014 was a pretty freaking amazing year, why on earth would I want to give it all up and why am I covering it all up with negativity? This job, this career path has allowed me to be fully involved in my children and family’s life and for that I am forever grateful. For my husband to support me through this endeavor, I am thankful, how could I ever let him down? How could I let my kids down? To go back to working what some may consider a “normal job” and not be able to be there when they need me, not attend their school events, volunteer and not be the first face they see when they get out of school. To live in a country where anyone can own their own business if they so please, where I can create my own hours that work for my family and most importantly where I can do what I love, instead of just being “satisfied” and “comfortable” in life simply because it “pays the bills” ? I am an entrepreneur, always have been. It’s in my genetic make up actually, I kid you not. Why would I go and do something that does not fulfill me? What does this prove to who? and to what? The benefits are all in my favor and I will never hand that on a silver platter to anyone simply because it makes better sense to them.
2014 has made me a better business person, a better mother, a better wife and so many things I’ve been searching to be more of, but it took a year or two or three to come around. I am now armed with the type of life experience I could have never paid for (and most of it I now own in pictures)
You are made for greater things than just being complacent with life. Whatever that is, whether your delivering the newspaper, or working behind a desk or flipping burgers. For god’s sake flip the best darn burgers you’ve ever flipped in your life, deliver that newspaper with a whistle and tune, if all you have is a 6×6 cubicle to make something happen do the very best with what you have so you can go to all those amazing places you want to go. Hustle and hustle hard. People say that some of the things you may want out of life may be hard to get.. yet the steps to get it are so easy to do but we don’t do them!
In this life, YOU can have dreams and YOU can MAKE THEM HAPPEN. Dreams are just goals dressed up in costumes (often disguising themselves as unicorns and butterflies ;)
My dreams are big dreams to me because they include my family and I want to be there for them and with them. And if photography is my journey for that life, then I will take the beaten path and make it all my own. What I have found is that with each and every session I have photographed, each family I follow through my lens, each childhood I document, The relationships I have built, my own path and purpose in life continues to get a little clearer as fight with myself to learn how to live more intentionally.
Slowly, my dreams undress, and then my goals become accomplished little by little. I once wished that I could just skip all the grueling parts of owning a business and just get to the good stuff, but in this gradient of peace that I’ve had, I now know that I could never deny myself a life of learning through every challenge that I have been given.
Here we are again. Another start-up to add to the mix in Texas, Austin now has yet another family photographer. Except this time I’m not a start-up, I’m a seasoned pro of the first 5 years of business and now I’m ready for the next stage. The stage of awesome.
So what does this all mean? In simpler terms, It’s time to work and work hard, like I’ve never worked before. All of these dreams, goals and wishes for a life self designed by none other than me have to be worked for. To not be afraid to take 5 years of experience and baby steps and mold that into a months of leaps and bounds (can anyone else feel the pressure?) I have to look fear in the eye and say I CAN DO THIS. Because I know I can. This may mean taking a second job while I establish myself, this may mean putting myself out there and getting out of my comfort zone. But if this path all leads to the bigger picture I am so ready, so ready for 2015.
Pflugerville, Texas Family Photographer