I’ve been sharing a lot recently about creating healthy boundaries and relationships around social media. You struggle, I struggle. We all do in many or few ways. Over the last few years I’ve found myself reaching for answers on how I could be better and invite more peace and intention around social sharing. It’s a topic I don’t think we talk enough about. Especially when it comes to small businesses. We have been eluded and conditioned to think that more is more when it comes to what we are sharing and who is seeing it, but in the same breath and behind the scenes I’m seeing so much of this conditioning trickling into our daily lives leading to a lot less. We can hardly give eye contact anymore, we are anxiously reacting to every ding and sound coming from our phones and let’s not even get into the constant and excessive documenting and producing our lives which ultimately pulls us away from actually being able to enjoy it. Look, I’m no saint. I love a good quick reel with the kind of music that just sticks and boy have I discovered really great ideas and things to try on various platforms. In essence, there are so many good things about social media. But we can not deny that it comes with a cost.
Now, as a mother who has birthed a generation of children who do use their phones frequently. I am being really conscious with my approach for what it’s worth. It’s never too late at all to start. I’ve been creating simple practices over the years to not only dial down usage but also remove the guilt we have as small businesses owners and drown out the calls for comparison. There are so many challenges with sharing, who is receiving, what you’re taking in, how much you have to pump out and how long you can be “away” before you are penalized. So. Many. Rules. And somehow in the middle of that, we got tricked into thinking that we are as good as a 15 second attention span. Almost all of it boils down to that really annoying algorithm. So here’s a thought to all of it…. Set yourself free. There was a DM that came in that could not have said it any better. “We have to break the cycle” and you know what? If this was trending I’d be the first one to jump on this bandwagon… so let’s form some intentions on that right here, right now.
Here are a few tips that have brought me peace and intention when sharing and partaking in any platform:
Remove the Guilt. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Take the pressure off having to “perform”. For example on insta, when the social platform first began it was a beautiful image sharing platform. As all things, it evolved and got harder and harder on people to share what they love to do without feeling icky, forced or robotic. With every update the algorithm got more and more harsh. Restricting views and essentially not playing nice will dock you all of the time and energy it took for you to create the wonderful things you sought out to share. But here’s the thing. Don’t let the platform take up precious mental space. You have permission to share when you want, when you feel it’s right. You don’t like chewing bubble gum, tapping your heading and dancing all at once? Then just do behind the scenes or share your products. You can do a lot without being “in” the frame. Better yet, don’t create any hard and fast rules. Just do what feels right to you. And remember, the people (and I say that with so much respect!) because the followers you have are actual human people. Some of them maybe your neighbors, your friends, clients…etc.. they will be there for you. Trust me they have not forgotten you if you take a social media break or decide that you need to prioritize something more important than posting or interacting on the social squares. I’ve stepped away so many times in my business and while yes, those “numbers” have fluctuated up and down in the matter of days, the same people are always *always* there. Those are your people and who you create for. Trust me.
Make a Plan Time blocking my days is bible. I do specific tasks on specific days at specific times. It’s how I am able to manage various channels, projects and businesses. If on a monday- the only day of the week I have dedicated to editing sessions from 1-4pm, then that means that is all I’m doing. I’m not checking emails, I’m not answering non-emergency calls, I am not working on some other project. I take that same approach with social media. If I schedule myself to be present on a Wednesday or Friday from 10-12pm then I get in I do my business and I’m out. No lingering after the party is over- who wants to be that guy anyway? The next scheduled day is just fine to check back in and see what sort of activity requires attention. You might have this daily, a few days a week or once a week or even once a month. Remember there are not hard and fast rules here you are fully in control. I think a lot of what we grapple with is that we think we don’t have control when we actually do. With that in mind, If you are truly worried about visibility and afraid to have a quiet period there are so many great scheduling platforms that become a set it and forget it. I use them loosely.. but you could just as easily set them up when you are on vacation or just need a mental social media break. Your posts, your work will still get shared while you drink a margarita on the beach or take a mental health day at home. Alternatively, you could hire out a social media manager. I’ve done this and it can be super beneficial.
Manifest Good Social Energy I don’t know about you but social media was my go-to during the pandemic. I laughed at everyone who was at home making the most of our new normal in the funniest of ways. I cried at the devastating losses endured to the virus, I was frustrated with politics and my shopping habits were at an all time high. It was an emotional rollercoaster and I didn’t really want to get off to be honest. It became a coping mechanism and I got really comfortable in that space. Like who enjoys self torture? I had to repair my relationship social media. I felt like I needed to invite more good energy in and let bad energy hit it where the door split it. Along with the not-so-great energy can come comparision or the feeling that what you have is not enough. The beauty and fashion industry influencing that I’m sure tears through people banks accounts and amazon carts like nobody’s business. Feeling like the home you live in isn’t worthy enough, or pretty enough because everyone is doing it bigger and better and nicer, who’s more creative or most followed and everything else in between. I can appreciate the art and the work that goes into creating content. But we ALL know that social media has a unique way of unleashing insecurities. This is why I try to be intentional with what I share. I never want anyone to leave with negative feelings and am always transparent with any vital details as it pertains to my message. Ultimately, manifesting good energy starts with creating a positive relationship with yourself first. Also, acknowledging that your feelings are normal and…. knowing that the reality is that not everything that you see is truly authentic. Manifesting can be as simple as telling the algorithm that all you want to see is cat videos because that’s what you only enjoy (delete and unfollow the rest if you must!). With this in mind, remember that your life and your circumstances are beautiful, unique and rich with blessings. Even if you don’t see it right now, know that you have everything you need. Oh and don’t forget to unplug! That is the best way to bottle up all the good energy and it’s the only rule I never want you to forget while you’re here.
Also if helpful just some last tips.
Out of site out of mind. If I’m not actively on call for work, typically my devices go into a room where I can’t see them. This allows me to be fully present in the moment with what I’m doing at that time, whether it’s working in the garden (not creating content for it), doing time sensitive tasks during my work hours or family movie night.
Removing notifications I usually remove all notifications completely or put the phone on silent until I’m ready to review what’s come in. This way I don’t get constant dings or alerts that create artificial urgency. Remember social media isn’t going anywhere so there no need for rush or hurry. More than half the time it’s not that important anyway.
The beautiful thing about using some of these techniques is that it will lead you to a more connected, grateful, productive life. Your eyes will be open to the world in ways that could truly astonish you. It’s about going back to basics here. While it’s hard to remember what that feels like, you’ll thank yourself for doing the work.